Your First Dildo: How to Choose the Right One
Shopping for your first dildo should feel exciting, not overwhelming. But if you've ever opened a category page and found yourself staring at hundreds of options with no idea where to start, you're not alone. The market is genuinely huge, and without a little context, it can be hard to know what you're even comparing.
This guide cuts through the noise. By the time you're done reading, you'll have a clear understanding of the three things that matter most when choosing your first dildo: material, size, and style. No jargon, no judgment, just practical information that helps you shop with confidence.
Why Your First Dildo Choice Matters More Than You Think
A good first experience changes everything. When you find something that feels comfortable, suits how you want to use it, and matches your body and preferences, it builds a kind of confidence that makes future exploration more enjoyable. When the first choice misses the mark, it can make the whole category feel like it's not for you. It usually isn't the category. It's just the wrong starting point.
The dildo market is one of the most varied in adult products. Shapes, sizes, materials, and features range enormously, and that variety exists because bodies and preferences are different. A little guidance narrows the field quickly, and that's exactly what this guide is here to do.
Understanding Dildo Materials
Material is the single most important decision you'll make. It affects how a dildo feels, how you care for it, and whether it's body-safe to use. Get this right first, and everything else falls into place more easily.
Silicone
Silicone is the go-to material for most beginners, and for good reason. It's non-porous, which means it doesn't harbor bacteria, making it easy to clean and safe for repeated use. It comes in a wide range of firmness levels, from soft and flexible to firm and structured, so there's a silicone option for almost every preference. Silicone also warms to body temperature during use, which adds to the overall sense of comfort and natural sensation.
One important note: always use water-based lubricant with silicone toys. Silicone-based lubricant can break down the surface of silicone products over time, which is worth avoiding.
Glass
Glass might not be the first material that comes to mind, but it has a devoted following for good reasons. Borosilicate glass is body-safe and far more durable than it sounds. It's shatter-resistant and built specifically for this kind of use.
The appeal of glass is its firmness and its ability to hold temperature. You can warm it under warm water or cool it briefly for a different kind of sensation. If you're drawn to pressure-based sensations, or you're simply curious about temperature play, glass is worth considering. It's also extremely easy to clean thoroughly, which is a practical bonus.
Realistic TPE and Blended Materials
Many realistic-style dildos use TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) or similar blended materials to achieve a softer, more lifelike texture. If realistic feel and appearance matter to you, these materials deliver in a way that silicone typically doesn't.
The trade-off is porosity. TPE is a porous material, which means it can't be fully sterilized the way silicone or glass can. Using a condom with TPE toys is a genuinely useful habit. It simplifies cleaning, creates a barrier layer between the toy and your body, and extends the life of the product. Think of it as a practical step in toy ownership, not a complication.
A Note on Body-Safe Shopping
When you're browsing, look for products that specifically call out their materials in the product description. Phrases like "body-safe silicone," "borosilicate glass," or "phthalate-free" are the kinds of details that signal a quality product. At ASW, every product in our range is selected with quality materials in mind, so you're already starting from a good foundation.
Size and Girth: Finding Your Comfort Zone
Sizing is personal. There is no universally "correct" size for a first dildo, and beginner-friendly absolutely does not mean you're compromising on enjoyment. It just means starting somewhere that sets you up for a good experience.
Length Considerations
The total length listed on a product page and the usable length aren't always the same thing. A portion of any dildo typically accounts for the base, so it helps to check the insertable length specifically when comparing options.
For most beginners, a mid-range insertable length sits in a comfortable starting zone. Something in the five-to-six-inch range gives you enough to work with while staying manageable. That said, your body and your preferences are your best guide. Think about what feels comfortable and appealing, not what sounds impressive.
Girth and Diameter
Girth refers to how wide a dildo is, and it has a significant impact on the sensation of fullness. A slimmer profile is generally more comfortable for beginners and gives you a chance to understand what level of girth you enjoy before moving up. Product listings at ASW include diameter measurements, which makes it straightforward to compare options side by side.
The Case for Starting Smaller
Choosing a smaller size first isn't settling. It's a practical and intelligent move. Comfort and confidence build over time, and many experienced shoppers have a range of sizes in their collection for exactly that reason. Different moods and different occasions call for different options. Starting modest leaves room to grow in whichever direction feels right for you.
Base Types: Suction Cup, Strap-On Compatible, and Standard
The base of a dildo determines how and where you can use it. This is worth thinking about before you buy, because the wrong base for your intended use means missing out on a key feature.
Suction Cup Bases
A suction cup base lets the dildo attach firmly to any smooth, flat surface, a tile wall, a chair seat, or a flat floor. This opens up a range of hands-free possibilities for solo or partnered play. Most suction cup bases are also compatible with harnesses, though you should confirm that on the individual product listing before assuming.
Strap-On Compatible Bases (O-Ring / Flared Base)
A flared base with an O-ring-compatible design allows the dildo to be fitted into a harness for partnered use. This is a popular choice for couples who want to explore strap-on play. The key detail to check is that the base diameter of the dildo matches the O-ring size of your harness. You can [browse harnesses at ASW](/strap-ons/harnesses) and compare sizing details across both categories.
Standard (Non-Harness) Bases
Some dildos have a flat or decorative base that's designed for manual use or simply to provide a stable grip. These aren't harness-compatible, and they're not meant to be. If you're planning on solo play and not interested in hands-free or harness use, a standard base is a perfectly good choice.
A Note on Anal Use
If you're shopping for anal play, the base type matters more than in any other context. Any dildo intended for anal use must have a flared base. This is a straightforward safety standard. The flared base prevents the toy from moving beyond where you can comfortably retrieve it. If the product doesn't have a flared base, it isn't designed for anal use. This applies regardless of size or material.
Dildo Styles at a Glance
Beyond material and size, dildos come in distinct styles, each designed with a different kind of sensation or use in mind. Here's a quick map to help you find your starting point, with links to full categories for each.
Realistic Dildos
Designed to closely replicate natural shape and texture, realistic dildos are typically made from TPE or silicone and are a popular choice for anyone who prefers a lifelike experience.
Non-Realistic and Abstract Dildos
Smooth, sculptural, or creatively shaped designs that prioritize sensation and versatility over appearance. These are a favourite for people who want something that feels great without the realistic aesthetic.
Double-Ended Dildos
Longer dildos built for simultaneous use by two partners, or for flexible and creative solo play. A versatile style worth knowing about.
Strapless Strap-Ons
Wearable dildos designed for partnered use without a harness. The wearer's body holds the toy in place, making for a more intuitive and connected partnered experience.
Glass and Crystal Dildos
Firm, non-porous, and temperature-responsive. Glass dildos are popular for their precision, their aesthetic appeal, and their ease of care.
Vibrating Dildos
Dildos with a built-in vibration motor add a layer of sensation that many people find makes a significant difference. A popular step up once you've explored non-vibrating styles.
Lubricant Pairing: A Quick Note Before You Buy
Lubricant matters, both for your comfort and for the life of your toy. The rule is simple: water-based lubricant is safe with all dildo materials. Silicone-based lubricant should not be used with silicone toys, as it can gradually degrade the surface.
If you're using a glass dildo, either water-based or silicone-based lubricant works fine. If you're using a TPE toy with a condom, the lubricant choice applies to the condom surface rather than the toy material itself, so water-based is still the safest, most versatile call.
Cleaning and Caring for Your Dildo
Taking care of your toys is just part of owning them, and it's straightforward once you know the basics. Cleaning before first use and after every use keeps things hygienic and keeps your products in good condition for longer.
Cleaning by Material
Silicone (non-motorized): Non-motorized silicone toys can be boiled for a thorough clean or washed with a dedicated toy cleaner. If your silicone dildo has a motor or battery component, keep it away from full submersion and stick to toy cleaner spray or wipes instead.
Glass: Glass is easy to clean thoroughly. Boiling works well for non-decorated pieces, and a thorough wash with toy cleaner handles everyday cleaning.
TPE and porous materials: These should be washed with toy cleaner after every use. Because they can't be fully sterilized, using them with a condom is the most practical way to keep maintenance simple and the toy in better condition over time.
Storage Tips
Storing toys properly keeps them clean between uses and protects the material. Individual pouches or cases are ideal, keeping each toy dust-free and separate. One thing worth knowing: silicone toys shouldn't be stored directly touching other silicone toys without a barrier between them, as prolonged contact can affect the surface over time. A simple pouch solves this without any fuss.